Turn That Page, You Sick Trucker

So it was on a recent road trip that I remembered a bit of hearsay from a while back. Apparently, there is some outrageous statistic that 25% of the time you see a trucker looking down at you on the highway, he is masturbating. Now, some of you will say that it’s just not true, but whatever proof you may have, I’m convinced that 60% of the time, this statistic works every time.

It was after a while of discussing this and feeling very American due to both the acquirement of this new knowledge (because road-jerking could only happen in America) and the fact that we were listening to Bob Seger. And Bob Seger is about as American as it gets. Chevy could benefit from going back to Bob and staying away from John Cougar.

I’ve got news for you Seger fans: Bob knows all about truckers and their dirty habits. “Turn the Page” is undeniably about masturbating truckers; it’s just a fact. Turn the Page of that magazine you chicken hauler, feel the eyes upon you from all that guilt, then turn the page again.

Check out the lyrics